Not so Sunny California

When we think of California, we think of sunshine.
and the beach.
and movie stars.
No one (including any builders or construction workers in LA) about what happens when it DOES, on rare occasion, rain in LA.
Let me unravel this mystery for you:
People FREAK OUT.
The roads are nightmares, filled with drivers terrified of mist.
The entire freeway screeching to a halt and crawls along as if rain could really make you melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.
It took me 3 hours to get 19 miles once. Seriously. That's not an exaggeration.
Buildings, all flat-roofed, leak so that instead of being safe and dry inside, you are rained on in your own bed.
Then everyone bumbles around not knowing how to fix anything.
And did you know it's actually COLD here?
Yes. It's chilly. We're not talking arctic winds or New York cold but it's definitely jeans and jacket weather.
We had a very cool summer and that means I did not go to the beach as often as I'd like.
And now my walls are crumbling around me because no one prepared for the eventuality of rain!
It's as if everyone is living in a fantasy world where rain is just a scary story told over a campfire.

Now the carpet cleaners that were for some reason unnecessarily called by my landlord are here 4 hours late and I've got meetings to go to.
My walls are still wet and she's having someone vacuum my carpet? Not steam clean...just vaccuum.
Thanks, lady, but I've got a Dyson and a string of pearls - I can do it my damn self.

Ooooh, California.

to quote the ever-wise Antoine Dodson,

You are so dumb. For real.